1. I understand that every country has some level of fetishization, but when it comes to this, America is on crack. Before asking you out, I’ve seen individuals say things like, “I’ve never dated someone from [insert your nation of origin here].” No, no, no.
2. Texting people, asking them out on Facebook, and asking them out on every other electronic gadget available. When they see you in person, though, they will flee.
3. The degree to which people have a fixed type, down to the color they wish the other person’s favorite to be. Okay, I’m exaggerating, and I suppose everyone has some inclinations and such, but I have to confess that Americans are a touch too precise in this regard.
4. The fact that people are freaking obsessed with certain accents, and it apparently ups their attractiveness points.
5. The inability of men to dress appropriately for a date. Maybe this reflects how informal America is in comparison to practically everywhere else, but if you’re going somewhere lovely, can you at least try?
6. How quickly someone will call you their girlfriend or boyfriend on one hand. On the other hand, how fearful people are of that label.
7. The ridiculousness on the part of both single people and people in relationships on Valentine’s Day. Seriously, everyone calm down.
8. The word “love” is often bandied about. Maybe it’s because of my African heritage, but I’m going to use that word extremely cautiously. Are you willing to put your life on the line for me, bro? Because that’s basically what it means where I’m from.
9. Going on dates that feel like an interview or a game of twenty-one questions. And you’re like, “Would you also like to know my blood type?”
10. I adore Americans (as if that’s why I’m here), but you guys need to stop talking about your work in public, particularly on dates. I can’t think of a more boring topic of conversation than learning the ins and outs of someone’s career, especially when I don’t know them well.
11. If you haven’t had many relationships by the time you reach early adulthood, you’re considered an unskilled, inept human being. In many areas, though, that is when you begin any form of serious relationship.
12. A lack of understanding of what defines a real date. I know I’m always talking about social structures, but can we all agree that inviting someone over to eat leftover Papa John’s is not a date?
13. That dating someone from a different ethnicity, culture, or religion can be interpreted as a political statement. For example, you don’t have to tell me twice that everything is political because Orwell said it first, which I admire. But we need to stop interrogating individuals about their views when they are dating in this situation.
14. Refusing to date someone because they are an adult who lives with their parents or relatives. What’s the big deal about this? They may opt to live with their parents for a variety of reasons; it isn’t always financial, and it isn’t a big deal.
15. Is it okay to be on your phone while on a date? Some Americans, I believe, complain about this as well, but in other areas of the world, the date would end right there.