You may be wondering what marriage is like if you’re dating, in a long-term relationship, or engaged. You most likely have acquaintances who had successful marriages and others who have failed marriages. Perhaps you have questions but aren’t sure how to ask them. Questions such as: Is it difficult? Is it really worth it? What is the point of getting married?

There’s a lot to learn, to be sure! Here are nine things you should know about marriage that will help you think about it.

1. Marriage is hard work (but it’s the best kind of hard).

Marriage necessitates both parties’ deliberate time and attention. There will be times when things appear to be simple and uncomplicated. Other situations necessitate a greater expenditure of energy.

2. Marriage takes compromise and respect on both sides.

Marriage is often described as a two-way street. I prefer to imagine it as a one-way street where you and your partner are both walking in the same direction. It’s critical to find common ground and respect for one another, especially if you’re on different paths.

3. Marriage: You + Me = We.

Marriage is two individuals who know themselves (likes, dislikes, stressors, etc.) and continue to grow. When you grow as individuals and learn more about caring for each other, your marriage thrives.

4. Marriage requires rearranging your priorities.

Life is hectic, and you’re probably juggling a variety of responsibilities, such as work, family, friends, volunteer work, self-care, and so on. Some of your priorities may need to be rearranged once you get married. Friends may be at the bottom of your priority list. If you’re already a parent thinking about remarrying or getting married for the first time, there are some things to keep in mind. Preparing for Marriage is a fantastic, free course that can help you get ready for marriage.

5. Marriage has seasons.

Marriage, like all relationships, evolves. Ups and downs, highs and lows, easy and tough periods are all part of life. These are natural and sometimes predictable seasons. It doesn’t necessarily imply that your relationship is in trouble. Seasons, depending on how you handle them, can be seasons of change and progress rather than periods of trouble.

6. Marriage has benefits.

That’s not all (wink, wink)! Married people are healthier, happier, and wealthier, according to research. They have a lower chance of being depressed. What’s more, guess what? Healthy marriages result in healthy communities, which include better schools and reduced crime rates.

7. Marriage requires skills.

A range of talents are required for a marriage to thrive throughout time. You’ll be able to comprehend your spouse better if you communicate with them. You’ll also be able to tell when to listen and when to speak. Problem-solving abilities enable you to work together to solve problems. If these aren’t your strong suits, we’ve got some terrific resources to help you round out your toolkit! (See The Magic of Marriage Communication, 5 Days to Better Marriage Communication, or conduct a quick search for communication here.)

8. Be aware of unrealistic expectations.

Many couples have unrealistic and/or unstated expectations about sex, money, and how they’ll spend their alone and together time when they get married. Talking with your partner can help you avoid problems that arise from unreasonable expectations.

9. Marriage is impacted by your family.

Your families, regardless of where you live, have an impact on your marriage, for better or bad. They shaped who you are by raising you. Some of the things that irritate you will most likely be habits that you picked up in your childhood homes. Remember, this isn’t about blaming someone; it’s only to make you aware of the situation.