Dating red flags you shoudn’t ignore
When you first start dating someone, it’s crucial to keep an open mind. Sure, you don’t like how they clip their toenails in bed or leave dirty dishes in the sink like they’re putting on a show, but these aren’t deal breakers.
True dating red flags are a little more complicated than simple behavioural oddities.
They’re more subtle than ever in today’s love-at-first-swipe era, where smartphones and social media have revolutionized the way we connect.
A red flag, according to dating psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree, is “anything your spouse does that demonstrates a lack of respect, integrity, or interest in the relationship.”
According to dating experts, there are eight warning flags you should look out for and why, ranging from never initiating dates to refraining from posting a couples image on Instagram.
After a few months of dating, they don’t want to define the relationship
If Shakespeare were still alive today, he might be able to assist us in deciphering the ever-evolving language of love.
Unfortunately, the famed Bard died in 1616, leaving us to our own devices to decipher linguistic ambiguities such as “seeing someone” and “hanging around.”
We currently live in a world where there are a plethora of non-committal and somewhat meaningless phrases to characterize one’s relationship.
However, if the person you’re dating/seeing/snogging/pulling/spooning refuses to call you their girlfriend or boyfriend after a few months, it could be a significant red flag.
Mason Roantree adds that it could indicate not simply a lack of commitment, but also that they are romantically linked with someone else.
“After dating for several months, if your significant other tries to avoid any conversations about exclusivity and labels, they are generally not serious about the relationship,” she tells The Independent.
After a few months, you are no longer visible on their social media pages
If you or your partner are not on social media, or if you only use Instagram to follow cat fan accounts, you can probably ignore the following.
If your partner uses Instagram/Twitter/Facebook religiously and has a history of promoting exes on their page, Mason Roantree warns that if they haven’t posted about you yet, it’s bad news.
She continues, “It might suggest they don’t see you as a long-term option or that they aren’t ready to exhibit you to the world.”
They never set up dates on their own
It may seem simple, but sticking one’s neck out to develop a plan is crucial when it comes to dating, according to Mason Roantree.
“This is a one-sided relationship if you always seem to suggest when we should meet,” she explains. “You must complete all of the tasks.
“A person who is truly interested in you will contribute and take an active role in the relationship.”
Being proactive is appealing; but, sitting back and allowing someone else do all the job while you enjoy the benefits of not having to lift a finger is not.
There’s a power imbalance
According to dating expert James Preece, dating is about working together to support one another equally. He believes that being in a happy relationship should feel like being part of the best type of team. Consider it a red sign if it doesn’t, and it appears like one of you is continually asserting control over the other, who is more subservient, he says The Independent.
He notes that “signs of a power imbalance can take the form of envy or domineering behavior.” “Both can easily lead to the end of a relationship, so deal with it as soon as possible rather than burying your feelings.”
In terms of how to deal with it, Preece suggests stating your concerns clearly and reevaluating if nothing changes.
You communicate your feelings to one another in a variety of ways
A yin and yang balance in a relationship is beneficial: what you lack, your partner provides, and vice versa. However, when it comes to how you display your love and devotion for one another, this could be worrying.
It’s possible that you’re a romantic wordsmith who continually tells your lover how much you love them and showers them with compliments, while your partner prefers kind-hearted acts to gushing comments.
The tough thing is that if you’re one way inclined, it’s easy to expect the same kind of behavior from your partner, which can be frustrating if you don’t get it, as Preece adds.
“You might not be as compatible as you anticipated if you expect one thing and get another,” he adds.